Do you know what troubles and even breaks my heart? A statement shared by two of my best gal-pals (who are two of the most breath-taking, God-fearing young women I know). After being rudely talked to (or rather talked at) and mistreated by various christian young men, they came to me and reported: "If THESE are "godly" men...we want no part. We might as well start dating unbelievers because they value us more. They treat us better."
I'll be honest, my first response was to start secretly attacking verbally these young men. But that wouldn't wouldn't help these young women OR settle my heart. In fact, it would probably make things worse. So, after praying for some discernment...I've come to a few conclusions.
Firstly, ladies nooooo! You have it all wrong. Absolutely under no circumstances should you EVER lower your standards or resort to something that goes agains God's word. These unbelieving men you talk of do not value you more. They are not more loyal to you. They are not more faithful to you. They do not treat you better. They DECEIVE you better.
Just like the deceptive slithering serpent from the Garden of Eden lied to Eve, you have been lied to! That sneaky snake lied to Eve. He looked her in the eye and told her that she shouldn't trust God. He told her that the fruit was harmless. It wouldn't hurt her; it would open her eyes so she could be like God. She should want more than the boring fruit God gave her. No, no, no! Poor Eve...I wonder if she even knew what a lie was? She had never been lied to before.
But ladies, WE have been lied to before. WE know what a lie is! And this, my precious friends, is a BIG, FAT, UGLY, LIE! I promise you, there ARE men of God worthy of your hearts.
Do you remember the story of Ruth? She found her man of God because she trusted in God. She was loyal to Naomi and she decided to put her trust in God. Because of that, God was faithful to her and through a series of perfectly orchestrated events, God brough Ruth and Boaz together. The Bible calls Boaz her kinsman-redeemer. But do you know what? It was easy for Boaz to love Ruth because she was "a woman of noble character" (Ruth 3:11).
Do you see what I see? It's easy to play the blame game. It's easy to say that everything is the man's fault. But if we are going to call ourselves women of faith and daughters of the King, we need to act like it! Not only do we need to be women of nobel character, we need to trust that God knows best. His timing is perfect and His word is trustworthy.
2 Timothy 4:16-17 says "At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone abandoned me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength." God knows that this walk is tough. He knows that many times we are abandoned by everyone- even fellow believers. He knows that wholeheartedly God-seeking believers are few these days. That's why He promises to stand at our side!
In Breaking Free by Beth Moore, she writes "If our liberty in Christ is going to be a reality in life, we are going to have to learn to walk in the freedom of Christ, independent of everyone else we know." When it comes down to it...God says that it is not our business what anyone else is doing. WE are to follow Him in ALL circumstances. That might mean not having a boyfriend right now. That might mean staying in school longer than you wanted. That might mean being honest in a tough situation. That might mean not gossiping with your friends. That might mean standing up tall and saying no to drinking or drugs or sex. Whatever it means for you...GOD is our measure - NOT the world and NOT other believers. Be encouraged, God knows the desires of your heart. He MADE your heart. And He wants to bless you. In fact, He wants to lavishly pour blessings over you. Just trust Him.