Summer is coming. I'm not sure what that means for you, but for me...it means I get to lay in the sun. I've never been a big tanner. I usually just burn. But, I love to lay in the sun anyways. It's relaxing, and I love it.
When I lay in bed, my mind is constantly wanding...I have trouble sleeping, and anxiety creeps up on me. But, when I am laying in the sun, there are no worries for me. I just lay. My mind is at peace. There is often absolutely nothing on my mind when I lay there.
There's a word in the Hebrew for this. בָּטַח It is pronounced "batach" with a German-sounding gutteral. The word means to throw oneself down upon the ground and continue to lay there. To believe that the ground will hold you up. To trust.
Recently, I've experencied a great deal of heartache. There have just been a lot of changes. One change was that the Lord willed for someone to be out of my life. I couldn't help but let my mind wander to the many times in the past few years when I've had to go through the same thing in one way or another. Being betrayed by someone I loved, being abandoned by another I loved, watching someone I love go through a change so completely that although I still love them...it's love for what seems a different person, watching another one I love wave goodbye as they move on to new places, and finally this...that the Lord ask me to walk away. It reminds me of a passage of Scripture written by the apostle Paul:
2 Timothy 4:16-18
At my first defense no one supported me, but all deserted me; may it not be counted against them. But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that through me the proclamation might be fully accomplished, and that all the Gentiles might hear; and I was rescued out of the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed, and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom; to Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
I read of Paul's heartache and yet see that the Lord stood at his side. He was confident of this. He knew that the Lord never left him, and He knew why. He was assured that the Lord would never leave him and would continue to rescue him from troubles to come. He was certain that God would bring him safely home. He was able to praise the Lord amidst his heartache. I pray that I can do the same.
In Psalm 28:7, the Psalmist writes:
The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts (batach) in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.
Paul trusted (batach) that the Lord would continue to stand at his side.
My Gracious Heavenly Father,
You are my strength and my shield. When I am weak, You are strong. When I am in danger, You are a fortress. Lord, my heart trusts (batach) in You, and I am helped...by You. Lord, help me to throw myself down upon the ground and continue to lay there. Help me to never get up but continue to trust (batach) You and to believe that you will hold up the ground that You have laid before me. My heart aches, but I long for it to rejoice and sing for joy. Thank you, Lord. I shall forever thank You, Father.
In Your Precious Son's Name, Amen.