He is Good

Now this is eternal life that they may know You the One, True God and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. [John 17:3]

I have just recently discovered and fallen in love with the song "Aslan" by Kendall Payne.  I love the words that she uses to describe Aslan.  He's not safe.  He's not fair.  He cuts deep.  The water is free, yet it costs everything.  He won't say the words that we wish that He would.  He won't do the deeds that we know that He could.  He won't think the thoughts we think that He should.  But...He is GOOD.  I've never been a big Narnia fan, but I understand the allegory between Aslan and God.  God desires for us to know Him.  And sometimes the things He says, does, and thinks don't make sense to us.  But He is good.  And He longs for us to understand that and trust Him.

God allowed some very painful things to happen in my life about 2 years ago.  I didn't understand them then.  It felt like God was ganging up on me.  The things He asked me to do seemed unbearable.  And the things he allowed to happen seemed harsh and out of my control.  Looking back now, I am overwhelmed with the incredible works God allowed to happen because of that painful time.  God has changed me.  And He has grown my trust and knowledge of Him.  I've heard it said that God first will be your Lord, then your Love, and ultimately your Life.  I think I finally understand what it means for God to be my Life.  He is my light when all that surrounds me is dark.  He is my love when everyone deserts me.  He is good when the world I live in is evil.  He is literally the air that I breathe.  God is so good.  I can't imagine life without Him.  From the depths of my heart I pray that whoever reads this already feels the same way I do, but if not, I pray that one day you will be able to feel this way too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m76wSTnwZAk
Aslan by Kendall Payne

Don't stop your crying on my account
A frightening lion, no doubt
He's not safe, no he's not safe
Are you tempted now to run away?
The King above all Kings is coming down

But He won't say the words you wish that he would
Oh, he don't do the deeds you know that He could
He won't think the thoughts you think He should
But He is good, He is good

I know you're thirsty, the water is free
But I should warn you, it costs everything
Well, He's not fair, no He's not fair
When He fixes what's beyond repair
And graces everyone that don't deserve

But He won't say the words you wish that he would
Oh, he don't do the deeds you know that He could
He won't think the thoughts you think He should
But He is good, He is good

No one knows Him whom eyes never seen
No, I don't know Him but He knows me
He knows me, He knows me

Lay down your layers, shed off your skin
But without His incision, you can't enter in
He cuts deep, yeah He cuts deep
When the risk is great and the talk is cheap
But never leaves a wounded one behind

But He won't say the words you wish that he would
Oh, he don't do the deeds you know that He could
He won't think the thoughts you think He should
But He is good, He is good

A New Realization

This morning, I had a new realization.  Since being back at school, I've had the same message being practically screamed at me from all different directions.

I had to come back two days early to school in order to go through a training session for being a Growth Group leader.  In the session, Mr. Matthews talked about the value of all different personality types.  One of the people he highlighted was Dr. James Strong who published the Stong Concordances.  Mr. Matthew suggested that Strong was probably an introvert in order to be able to "count numbers" and sit at a desk alone for so long.

My devotion this morning came from the Live Loved devotional by Max Lucado.  On the day entitled "Face Challenges in Stages" Lucado wrote:

When asked how he managed to write so many books, Joel Henderson explained that he'd never written a book.  All he did was write one page a day...  Earning a college degree can seem inpossible, but studying one semester is manageable, and logging in one good week is doable.  You las the long race by running the short ones.

The point of the devotional was not the point I am about to make.  Maily, Lucado was expounding on Matthew 6:43 where it says not to worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itselt.  He was trying to explain that we should take one day at a time.  However, I found ironic the examples he chose to use.  Writing books, finishing a college education...both things that I feel God calling me to do and both things that I often feel discouraged about or inadequit for.

So, often I compare myselft to others and even pray that God will make me like them.  There's nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself.  God even commands us in the Bible to conform more likely to the image of Christ.  The problem arises when we try to become something that we are not, someone that God hasn't made us to be.

I've finally realized and accepted and am excited about the person God has made me to be.  I'm quiet, and I'm not always outgoing.  But, I love leading small groups and I am really good at accomplishing tasks.  The book work that seems boring to most, fascinates me!  God creates us all differently and for different purposes.  I'm not being "boring" because I like to do different things than others.  I don't need to change the way God made me, because God made me perfect for His plan.  I pray that God will continue to open my eyes to His will for my life so that I can bring Him His due glory.  I pray that I will become confident in the woman He has created me to be.  I could try and be something I'm not just because the world finds it most interesting, but if I'm going to fail at it what's the point?  Today I'm choosing to be who God made me because I'd rather make Him proud than the world.  I long for the day when I might hear "Well done, good and faithful servant."


Lord God Almighty,
Thank you for people like Max Lucado who write books.  Thank you for devotionals, commentaries, concordances, WORDS!, so that we can understand Your revelation to us better.  Lord, I think You made me to be an introvert.  And, it's not that I don't like to have fun - it's that my definition of "fun" is different.  I often worry that I am not living "uncomfortably" enough, but I am WAY out of my comfort zone most days.  I often worry that I don't talk to enough people to share about You, but I have this blog that reaches people that I don't even know about.  Lord, without people like Strong - an introvert - we would not have awesome resources like Strong's Concordance.  Thank You for showing me that it's ok to be the woman You created me to be.  God, let me love Your Word and Your people.  Let me fall more in love with You.  Become my life, Lord Jesus.  Father, help me to keep taking one day at a time.  Give me only enought light for the step I'm on.  Help me not look forward or backward without Your "ok."  Lord, let me be Your light today.  Walk with me.  Help me to pray unceasingly, choose joy, and live consciously with an eternal perspective.
I love You, Lord.

The Best Grandmommy Ever!

So, I hate to brag, but I just want the world to know that I have the BEST Grandmommy ever! :)

One of my biggest downfalls is that I get discouraged way too easily.  I forget to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, and my perseverance fades.  Most times when this happens I mope around a bit, call my mom up, whine to her, and then listen to her "pep talks."

Being home on break this past month has been different.  I didn't have to call my mom.  I was able to just walk to the next room to talk to her.  What was also different was that our family has recently moved, and we are sharing a home with my grandma.  My grandma is over on our side of the house every once in awhile, and it happened that she heard a lot of my complaining.  My grandma isn't the kind of woman who will cut in on conversation between my mom and I.  She is pretty quiet; for the most part, she speaks when spoken to (Gee, I wonder where I get it!)  Anyways, here and there she would give her two cents, but mostly she just listened.

So, I was suprised when I had to head back to school on Monday and she purposefuly grabbed my arm, pulled me aside and spoke some very wise words to me without my request.  With tears in her eyes and a choke in her throat she mustered out something like "Now Allie, I was watching Charles Stanley this morning, and he said something that you need to know.  He said that if you are confident that you are doing God's will, when you wake up in the morning you need to be happy.  It's hard, but you need to keep going and just keep going."  We hugged, and before she left she looked me in the eyes and said "Just be happy, ok?  Keep going."

I know this isn't probably new news to anyone that we are supposed to keep our eyes fixed on Christ and just keep going even when the going gets tough, but it was new news to me that I had an audience that could tell when I was moping around and not choosing joy while following after God.  It was new news to me that I have a grandma who is willing to step out of her comfort zone, pull me aside, and give me the words she felt God wanted me to hear. 

I've always loved my grandma, and I've always been thankful for her.  But, I think this is the beginning of a new friendship, thank you Jesus!

Like a Cut

Like a cut
The pain would not go.
It hurt so bad
And healed so slow.
Heartache's disguise...
A plastic smile.
Even one inch
Felt like a mile.
Stinging
A salty tear fell in my wound.
But a whisper
"It will be over soon."
Give me strength...
Enough to stand.
Through wet eyes
I saw a gentle hand.
"Get up"
Said a soft and tender voice.
"I can help you
Remember, it's your choice."
Though it felt of
pain and anguish,
It's what I wanted...
What I wished.
And like a cut
It's finally gone.
Yes I can say
Goodbye, so long.

Life

Sometimes it's a picture

Sometimes it's a song

Sometimes it's a memory

But mostly it's just that star

At first my heart just tingles

But then it stars to break

When I remember all the pain

Of when you let it break

It doesn't take much

I remember it like yesterday

The swinging and laughing

The walks and the talks

The raspberry picking and water fights

The 5am sunrise

It's funny how the heart doesn't remember the bad times

So I will trust in my Savior

For I have learned your very name is to go down...to descend

And HIS name brings LIFE

And I will choose LIFE.

When they saw the star, they were overjoyed

[Matthew 2:10]

To seek you and be overjoyed

Is this my heart?

Traveling miles to fill the void

Where do I start?

Humbled, helpless, yet King of kings

You love me

You're worth more than all other things

You are lovely

I know the truth still I search

What am I thinking?

For things of only temporal worth

I turn from You, hardly blinking

 

Of course I'd be left discontent

You alone can satisfy

I pray Father, will you relent?

Forgive me for trying to gratify

 

I'm looking to You

Not longing to be approved by men

Let me fall in love too

Captivate my soul again

 

To see you and be overjoyed

This I pray

Traveling miles to fill the void

Starts today

I Recant

The purpose of this post is to somewhat "recant" my last post...

 

I Believe

God...I want to trust You. I want to believe that You are working out what is best for me. I want to believe that You want me to be happy.

But I just don't.

I don't trust You right now. I believe that You are trustworthy. I believe that You are sovereign. I believe that You are stong. I believe that You are holy. I believe that You are true. I believe that You are in control of all things. I believe that You are love. I believe that You are good. But I do not trust You right now.

I don't believe that You are working out what is best for me. I believe that You could if you wanted to, but I don't believe that You are. I believe that You are working out what is best for You. I believe that what is best for you is best for me by default, but I don't believe that You're thinking about me in the process. I don't believe You're looking out for my best interest. It's not about me. It's about You. What I want matters little. What You want matters all. I don't believe You are working out what is best for me.

I don't believe that You want me to be happy. I believe that You want me to have joy, but not happiness. You want me to have joy in spite of my unhappiness. I believe that You want me to endure suffering so that I understand what I do to You each day. I believe that You are purposefully not giving me what I want. I believe that You are always intentional. I don't believe You want me to be happy.

I know I'm selfish. I know I'm undeserving. I know You are perfect. I know You are worthy.

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.

 

 

The very title of my blog is Oh Happy Day; the verse that I've chosen as the motto of the blog is Psalm 90:1 "Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for JOY and be GLAD all our days!"

 

I was definitely having a "woe is me" kind of day when I wrote my last blog post.  I know that God wants to fulfill the desires of my heart.  Romans 8:32 says "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"

I’m going to be really real with you. I don’t always feel as though Christ is satisfying every desire of my heart. I want more than anything in the world to be a wife and mommy. I would probably give up just about anything for God to bless me in that way. There are times when I see my friends happily dating, engaged, married, announcing pregnancies, or playing with their babies…and I am truly happy for them, yet I feel so saddened that I don’t get to have that. But, right now, that isn’t God’s best plan for me. Another thing that I desire greatly is for my big brother to be completely healed from the brain aneurysm he had a year and a half ago. It breaks my heart every time I recall a precious memory of a time we shared as kids that he just doesn’t remember. Sometimes he is afraid to go to sleep because he remembers being trapped in a body that didn’t work and fears that it might happen again. I see him sad when he realizes he can’t do the things he used to; it makes me so emotional at times I just want to scream. But, God has a purpose and a plan for my brother. And, right now, God’s best plan is not for him to be completely healed.

God is good. The times I don’t feel satisfied are times that I am not allowing Him to satisfy me. Right now, as I type these words, I still have those desires I mentioned, but I am completely satisfied in Christ. I know that if I were looking for satisfaction in those temporal blessings and God gave them to me, my heart would not be completely satisfied. I would just want the next things on my list. Only when I delight in who God is…when my hearts is completely captivated by Him, am I ever satisfied.

To be satisfied is to have the desires of our hearts fulfilled. Psalm 37:4 says that if we delight in the Lord He will give us the desires of our hearts. But, until Christ is the desire of our heart, we will continually fail to be satisfied. God knows that Christ is the only One who could ever satisfy us, so that is what He chooses to give us. It is our choice whether or not we allow Him to be our source of satisfaction. I encourage you to start praying today and every day that God will help you to fall more in love with His precious Son. I promise you, that is one prayer that He will answer with an enormous YES every time! And, when He does, you will be satisfied.